


Fixing the Broken

by Tallihensia



Category: Smallville
Genre: Angst, M/M, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-26
Updated: 2015-01-26
Packaged: 2018-03-09 03:07:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,124
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3233987
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tallihensia/pseuds/Tallihensia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lex thinks that this time might be the last, and so he goes to the loft one last time to try and fix it.  (Warning, this one is more angsty than the other stocking stuffers.... that's what happens when I try and get inspiration from songs o.o) (but there's hope at the end!)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fixing the Broken

**Author's Note:**

> Written as a Clexmas Stocking Stuffer for [Clexmas](http://clexmas.livejournal.com). Stocking stuffers are just little things meant for general community gifts and aren't supposed to be too long. 
> 
> See the complete set of Clexmas Postings for 2014 at: <http://clexmas.livejournal.com/103333.html>

## Fixing the Broken

_Baby, don't understand  
Why we can't just live long to each other's hands_

As Clark stormed out of the room, Lex turned and threw his glass against the wall. It shattered into slivers that twisted and fell, catching the light and reflecting wildly for a few seconds until they hit the ground. All that was left was a stain against the wall, defacing a priceless piece of artwork. Worthless, because it didn’t matter. 

They had gotten along so well at first, but now… now, all they did was fight. Some of it on Lex, some of it on Clark… though Clark never thought it was on him. 

It was easy to see sometimes that Clark was still a teenager, no matter how much Lex wanted him to be a man. A man that he wanted so much.

_This time might be the last, I fear  
Unless I make it all too clear  
I need you so..._

Lex couldn’t do it anymore. He would go to Clark, beg for forgiveness, and be given it, only to have something break it again. Something had to change, and Lex feared it would have to be him.

He wasn’t made for change. He was born and raised to be a Luthor, and to rule the world. But there was a choice here, because he couldn’t be that and have Clark too. He didn’t even know if he could have Clark without it. How could he possibly give up his dreams and have nothing in return?

_Take these broken wings  
And learn to fly again, learn to live free_

A car ride down small town lanes, with the top down and fresh air everywhere. The smells of hay and dirt and manure. A red barn, and a yellow house. Hope. Maybe. Or the death of that hope. Lex didn’t know what it would be.

He walked up the stairs to the loft, invited with a grunted ‘sure’ that told him all wasn’t right yet in Clark-land. Lex always came to Clark before Clark was ready. 

Instead of talking, this time Lex just stood there. He had nothing to say. He couldn’t ask for forgiveness again, and he couldn’t ask for what he needed. 

“Lex?” Clark was starting to come out of his funk, disturbed by Lex’s non-standard behavior.

Lex walked to the loft window and looked out over darkness. A very few lights here and there. More from the stars above. “Can you fix me?” he asked softly.

Clark made a puzzled sound.

“I’m broken, Clark. I’ve never been whole, I don’t think. I don’t know. But I’m definitely broken now, and while I can live, I don’t think I can live the life you want me to. Not as I am.”

The sound Clark made this time was more dismayed. An automatic protest, stifled because it was true.

“It’s too much to put on you, I know. I’ve been trying to for years, but you have your own life, you don’t need mine too. But… this can’t last. Not like this. I can’t last. You can’t. Our friendship can’t.”

Only years of practice kept him from crying. He widened his eyes and refused to let the tears come anywhere near falling, made them reabsorb instead. Men didn’t cry. But when their whole life was falling apart, maybe they had reason to.

“Lex…” Clark tried to protest, speaking words of friendship and belief in Lex.

It was nice to hear, even if Lex didn’t believe it. He stopped it with a shake of his head and his own words. “That won’t work. Not anymore. Even if you believe it, I don’t anymore.”

With a sigh, he leaned against the wall, still looking out. How could he ask this young boy to love him? To be his other half? Clark didn’t know what he wanted and he had his secrets to protect. If Lex hadn’t convinced him yet, he didn’t know how a single night now was going to change that.

“Lex…” Clark’s voice came again, hesitant and fearful.

Lex didn’t turn around or say anything. This was it.

_When we hear the voices sing  
The book of love will open up and let us in  
Take these broken wings… _

When arms went around him to hold him closely, Lex didn’t move. He was startled, but he’d also trained for years not to let his surprise at unexpected touch show in his movements or expression. But this… this was a very different type of contact.

“Lex, you can. We can.” Clark’s grip tightened, pulling Lex so that his back was pressed to Clark’s front. A reverse hug.

Lex breathed out, trying not to hope.

_Baby, I think tonight  
We can take what is wrong and make it right  
Baby, it's all I know  
That you're half of the flesh and blood that makes me whole  
I need you so..._

 

There was a sensation on the back of his head that Lex couldn’t identify at first. Then he realized it was Clark’s lips. Clark was kissing him. Did he mean it?

“I get so angry at you, Lex. You should know what’s right and wrong. You’re not a child. But you do things anyway. Things that will hurt people. I yell at you because I can’t believe it’s you doing those things. My Lex, the Lex I fell in love with, that Lex wouldn’t do it.”

Lex blinked and tried to turn around. After a moment, Clark loosened his arms and let him. “Fell in… Clark?” Despite his best efforts, Lex’s voice quivered.

“Yes, Lex.” The teenager lifted and settled his chin defiantly, expecting resistance. It was a familiar look from their fights, for such a different reason now.

Lex closed his eyes and leaned forward, trusting in Clark. He was right to, as he was caught and held, this time in a hug that put them together. Lex leaned his head against Clark’s shoulder and shook.

“We’ll make it right, Lex, we will.” Clark’s voice held the same determination he used when fighting crime. “I won’t give up on you, and I won’t let you give up on you either.” 

“But will you trust me?” Lex said, his voice muffled through Clark’s shirt.

There was a hesitation. “If you make the change… if you can be the person I believe you to be. Then yes. Yes, I can trust you. If you can do that, I will do.”

Lex thought of all the problems there would be on that path. Then he let them go. They wouldn’t make him whole – only Clark could do that, and Clark had said he would. He would believe it, and they would make it true.

 

===========

Song: Broken Wings by Mr. Mister


End file.
